


The things you can't take back

by EonaMokaa



Series: Some things you have to accept [1]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Catra POV, F/F, Lots of Angst, This fandom is a black hole and i'm getting sucked deeper and deeper into it, catra redemption fic, catradora, seriously though these are children fighting each other give them a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 01:49:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16734744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EonaMokaa/pseuds/EonaMokaa
Summary: Set during the last episode (so spoilers!) but deviating a bit. Essentially a Catra redemption fic. Catra gets tired of fighting her only real friend, and gives everything up in order to stay by her side.





	The things you can't take back

Catra didn't mean for any of this to happen. And yet, there she was, cradling Adora close to her chest and trying, failing, to be able to wake her up. _Just a raid,_ she'd said. _We'll take Bright Moon, no problem_. And they succeeded - so why was she crying? Her whole world seemingly shattered, and she tried desperately to glue the pieces back together, but no matter what she did, it kept falling apart. 

  


"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...Adora? Adora, please wake up...!" Catra's desperate pleas were quiet compared to the raging cacophony of battle surrounding her, but it was all she could hear. "Please..." 

  


She thought back to a time when they were children, when everything seemed to be perfect for them and they were as close as they'd ever been. They had left the confines of the fright zone, daring to go near the whispering woods, and she and Adora had climbed the first tree they saw. She didn't remember what they were fooling around about, but she remembered exactly what she did - she had playfully pushed Adora, as she'd done in the past, but Adora hadn't expected it. With a surprised yelp, she fell to the forest floor, landing on her shoulder wrong. Catra couldn't bear the sight of Adora crying. Couldn't bear the guilt that she was the one who'd done it.  _It's all your fault_ , they'd said. She already knew.

  


Catra pulled Adora closer to her, not caring that they were in the middle of the battlefield and halfway underwater. She hissed at an approaching robot, one of the Horde's tech. 

  


There was another time, too. Catra wouldn't say it aloud, but she hated tazing Adora after she was fleeing from the Horde to Bright Moon. And again, at the Sea Gate, when she ordered her team to attack the gate knowing that it shocked Adora with each hit. At princess prom, when she had isolated and attacked Adora to keep her distracted from noticing that they had kidnapped one of their friends. In the First Ones' temple, where she had let Adora fall after cutting the webs. And now...

  


Catra was tired. Of living a lie, pretending to hate the very person who had accepted her no matter what, who always forgave her. Of fighting a war she really didn't want to win, but doing it out of spite. Of trying and failing to please the higher-ups as a distraction from her true feelings. She was tired of hurting her only friend. 

  


"Adora! Adora, are you okay?" A shout brought Catra back to reality, and she noticed that Adora had been taken from her arms. She looked around frantically, to the source of the voice, and there she was - in the arms of another princess, who was just as panicked as Catra was to try and wake her up. Something in her heart ached, and she pulled her knees to her chest, trying to be as small as possible. She was sobbing now, shouting, letting out all the emotions she'd been holding in for years.

  


She watched as the princess teleported, Adora in her arms, to the top of Bright Moon tower, where the queen likely was. Saw her through blurry eyes as she and the queen tried to channel some if their powers to her, looking for a solution. Nearly cried in relief when she saw Adora sit up weakly, and needing the help of the princess. _Broke_ when she saw the queen and the princess hug her tight and not let go. 

  


_You don't deserve to be loved by her after everything you've done, you're a monster. You're nothing to her but a nuisance,_  she thought, but she couldn't find the strength to walk away. Not anymore. 

  


No more pretending. No more fighting. Catra walked up the steps to the Bright Moon tower, letting herself be vulnerable to attack, and stopped at the sight of the princess. 

  


"Don't come any closer!" She yelled, staff in a defensive position, ready to attack. She saw Adora, awake but weak, leaning into the queen's hold. Catra fell to her knees, pushing her forehead into the tower's floor, and felt the tears sliding down her cheeks again. 

  


"Adora...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for everything- but I don't want to be forgiven. I don't deserve to be forgiven. I'll stop fighting, I'll leave the Horde, and you won't see me ever again, you can forget about me! Just-" 

  


"Glimmer...stand down." She heard Adora's voice, quiet but firm, and immediately stopped talking. The princess was hesitant to follow her instruction, but stood off to the side, her staff lowered but still available to attack if needed.

  


"Sit up, Catra. Please..." Adora said, and made a shaky effort to walk to where Catra was, dropping to the ground in front of her. She took Catra's hand in hers, holding it while she thought of what to say. "What you did is wrong, attacking me and my friends, but...you know that already, I think." Catra felt her arms wrap around her small frame, and she wanted so desperately to hug her back. 

  


"I don't want you to disappear, Catra. I don't want to forget about you. So...please stay with me? You don't have to join the rebellion if you don't want to. I know that the Horde has been your family, I get it. But you can stay here, with me and the rest of the rebellion, and hopefully you'll feel like you have somewhere you belong. Someplace that feels like home." Catra felt Adora's tears falling onto her shoulder and she wanted to wipe them away, to never have to see her cry again. 

  


"I'm sorry. I know it doesn't make things better, but...that's all I can say. Nothing I say will ever make it right." Catra's voice came out hoarse, and she buried her face into Adora's's shoulder, wanted to take back everything she'd done. "I wish I had joined you when you left. When you asked me to stay by your side back then...I wanted to, but I was afraid. And now...Adora, I want to stay. If you'll let me stay by your side, or to be your friend, I would do anything for it! I'll fight with you, you can have a guard watching me at all times, but _please-_ " 

  


"You don't need to do anything. I'm right here. That's what friends are for, isn't it?" Adora hummed, and Catra finally returned the hug. 

  


"Thank you." She whispered, and Adora hugged her tighter. They stayed like that for what felt like eternity, both of them a sobbing mess but happy to finally be together again. Catra knew she didn't deserve to be forgiven, to be together again, but she wouldn't give it up for the world.


End file.
